Eight months ago in mid-October, I was laid off from my job at Cockroach Labs. Although I anticipated feeling upset, disappointment, maybe even betrayal or anger, in truth, I felt relieved. The culture was open and positive, the people were kind and friendly, and the engineering was the best I had worked at. But I wasn’t happy. Its an odd feeling, having all the resources and flexibility that on paper should leave you at least content, but instead leave you feeling vapid and melancholy. Even now I’m not sure I have totally grasped how unhappy I was. In hindsight, I would attribute this almost entirely to the work. I had no interest and felt no fulfillment from the work at all, nor was I particularly interested in the company’s success/mission (aside for monetary gain). Naturally, I was not eager to look for another job. I was not eager to immerse myself in the same environment. Instead, I took some time off, intending to explore personal interests and discover what I wanted to work on.
So what have I done?
I can broadly break this down into two categories: - exploratory career work - personal life/interests
Exploratory Career Work:
After taking a few weeks away from coding, I spent the winter (late Nov-Jan) mostly working on an anime site called Weeby, machine learning courses (the Machine Learning Specialization by deeplearning.ai), and the first couple chapters of SICP. I enjoyed working through what is widely considered the foundational book of computer programming. Functional programming with Scheme was new for me and a fun little challenge.
Afterwards I revisited systems programming. I hadn’t done any since school and wanted a refresher on computer systems. I did a quick primer on C (CMU’s 15-122 course) and then worked through the labs of CMU’s 15-213 course (their introductory course in computer systems). I remember working through the same textbook while I was in school, but there was very little programming and nowhere near as rigorous. This was a much more fulfilling learning experience. Implementing malloc is something every computer science student should do in school. At least I got around to it at 25. For those interested, don’t be discouraged. It’s not as hard as you would think, the cache lab on the other hand…
I enjoyed the computer systems course and wanted to do some more systems programming, deciding on MIT’s 6.824 course on distributed systems. Admittedly I had only gotten through the first lab before somewhat losing interest. I plan to revisit and complete this course (or some other distributed systems study/programming) at some point in the future.
Over the past 1-1.5 months I’ve begrudingly re-entered the job market, largely motivated by the idea of working abroad (preferably Europe) and having an income (it would be nice to see money coming in…). So I’ve been spending some time each day applying for jobs and the usual Leetcode grind.
Only recently amidst this job hunt have I discovered (to some degree) what I’d like to work on. Until this point, I was fairly convinced that I would be satisfied working in some systems programming or infrastructure role. I wouldn’t be enthralled or enchanted by it, but hopefully, not miserable. That was, until I stumbled upon an article of fast-growing AI startups. I was pleasantly surprised with how many were tackling problems I was actually interested in. Interesting, impactful, and personally fulfilling. Not to mention the appeal of a startup environment - fast pace, incredible learning environment, small connected team, lots of autonomy, lots of building, little bureacracy. The startup environment effectively acts as a compressed career time capsule, which seems to me, the best place to grow.
As such, I’ve recently been trying to skill up as a machine learning engineer. Currently I am working through fast.ai, touted as a “Practical Deep Learning Course for Coders”. We will see what comes of this journey in the weeks/months to come.
Personal Life/Interests
A great silver lining with getting laid off is how much time you get back. Over the course of the last 8 months, I’ve been trying to judiciously allocate this time between study/career pivoting, friends/family and personal interests (with mixed success… if anything I have spurts where I spend all my time studying, or spurts where I spend much more time than usual with social engagements, and stretches of time where I’m just… lazy).
Here are some of the social and personal highlights of the past 8 months:
Went to a very close friend’s engagement party, had a blast! Enjoyed meeting new people and catching up with friends I hadn’t seen in some time. A great event and celebration.
I’ve been able to hang out more frequently with friends who moved to Toronto this past summer. It’s nice having the time to form closer friendships and the opportunity to form new friendships with their friends.
Movies! Watching lots of movies, brainstorming movie ideas, scriptwriting (more to come on this later…)
Enjoyed a Hitchcock movie month event at the cinema with my family. Caught some classics (Full Metal Jacket, Clockwork Orange, 2001)
Watched the eclipse with friends!
Multiple board game/poker nights with old friends :)
Went to a friend’s concert - the first of his that I’ve attended - and he was awesome! Really hoping to go to more in the future!
Went to the same friend’s cottage over the winter, looking forward to going again in the summer some time (hopefully this summer!)
I’m sure there are more I’m forgetting. It would be easier to remember if I took photos during these occassions but I’m historically terrible at doing so (maybe something to improve on in the future, some incentive with the blog). All in all, I’ve enjoyed just being able to spend more time with people and I’m appreciative that these people choose to spend their time with me.